The 21st century made in China suburban witch

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made in china suburban witch
Recently, I saw a documentary about a 21st century witch.

Or at least she claimed to be a witch.

In any case, she glared defiantly into the camera as if to challenge me to prove her wrong.

She looked pretty fierce so I wasn’t game to argue even from the comfort of my couch. After all, if she is a real witch then maybe she’ll cast a spell on those who doubt her authenticity.

So I watched this middle-aged lady prove her witchiness by performing witchy things. She made wands, created spell-boxes, recited spells in Latin and burnt things in the woods.

She also did lots of chanting and dancing in the moonlight.

This witch wears witchy clothing, or something that passes for witchy clothing because it resembles the outfit Stevie Nicks wore in the 1970s when she sang about Rhiannon the Welsh witch

Alas, this witch is a bit older and plumper than the 1970s Stevie Nicks who, by the way, has also packed on the pounds but still performs songs about Welsh witches even if she can’t twirl around in robes like she once did.

Anyway, all this twirling and chanting and Stevie Nicks reminiscing got me wondering how a 21st century witch should dress these days.

The Stevie Nicks Witch?

Is the Stevie Nicks version of a witch due for a wardrobe makeover? If so, what outfit is suitable for the modern witch and where does an aspiring sorceress shop?

And if a wardrobe reinvention is due then is there a general witch-dress consensus? Should flowing gowns be cast aside for a sleek twin-set with matching accessories, or would track-suit pants and lycra suffice?

Once a sensible dress code is established, would the contemporary witch be required to mix herbs and plants to accompany her spells or would grinding up a few Panadols with a dose of cough mixture have the same effect?

In any case, perhaps these questions are irrelevant.

After all, is there even a place for witches in a world bursting with science and technology?

Do we still need them to disperse evil spirits when we can easily Google a Latin spell ourselves?

The witch of the aforementioned documentary thinks so. She said there’s a lack of respect for her gifts. She said intuition is the witch’s most important tool and that it’s something no PC or a Mac can give anyone.

I felt sorry for this witch as she struggled to find a place in the 21st century.

My sympathy quickly disappeared, however, when at the end of the documentary she emerged from what I assumed was a forest. This forest turned out to be a couple of trees in a park near her suburban house.

She’d been in this “forest” to bury her spell-box and when she finished she walked straight back out and into suburbia.

This broke the spell so to speak. A practising witch in suburbia?

I want my witches to live in caves or remote cabins in the woods where they  can bake gingerbread biscuits and cast spells with their animal companions by their sides.

Yet, here was a witch whose spell ingredients were probably sourced from the local Woolworths and her clothes from the Cotton On shop.

I’m afraid the 21st Century witch is a suburban mum with a bunch of home made wands and a spell-box made in China.

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Author: Sue Bell
Sue Bell is an entertainment writer and author of Backpacked: A mostly true story, Beat Street and When Dreamworks came to Stanley.

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