In a post that’s gone viral, Sue Bell ponders the youthfulness of Carrie Fisher’s face in The Force Awakens and wonders why aging is such a scary on-screen prospect. And we all know it’s an aging woman that scares us the most.
So Disney, be a good sport and let Carrie Fisher be herself in Star Wars 8.
We can handle the truth.
And while you’re at it, give her a support squad of female actors who’ve all vowed to leave their faces to nature and not to botox.
“When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not, hmmm?”
Now that Han Solo’s left the building, Yoda — that 900-year-old un-nipped and un-tucked Jedi master — took time away from his swamp to cast five au naturel middle-aged actresses to play Leia’s support network in Star Wars 8.
Yoda’s Top 5 casting tips
Greta Scacchi: This fine actor has elected to avoid plastic surgery altogether. She’s a woman happy to look her age and appears relieved to do so, possibly because “women didn’t like me when I was a sex symbol.”
In a recent interview, her interlocutor notes that Scacchi actually looks her age — she’s 55 — and that she (shock, horror) appears comfortable in her own (un-botoxed) skin.
Yoda loves this woman for her Jedi nature and also because she starred alongside Harrison Ford in the 1990 movie Presumed Innocent.
Yoda says: “Know Han Solo, she does. Fit in with rest of cast, she will.”
Julia Roberts: This 45-year-old superstar is no fan of plastic surgery: “Your face tells a story and it shouldn’t be a story about your drive to the doctor’s office.”
Yoda agrees: “Pretty woman, you always be.”
Kate Winslet: This Titan of the big screen has vowed never to have plastic surgery: “I’m an actress; I don’t want to freeze the expression on my face.”
Yoda says: “Titanic go down, it did, but your face stay above water, it does.”
Sigourney Weaver: A 63-year-old Ramba of a middle-aged woman no galactic resistance movement should be without. She handles rabid aliens, traitor androids and craven crew members with aplomb. She also moonlights as a ghostbuster.
She may kill aliens but she doesn’t look like one thanks to her no-plastic-surgery ethos: “Actors’ faces have to move. I do think life should put lines on your face, or you’re not getting out enough.”
Yoda agrees: “Brave woman, are you. No-one hear you scream under surgeon knife, will there be.”
Meryl Streep: The world’s best actress is also on the run from the surgeon’s knife: “If you’ve ever even contemplated that stuff and looked at what can go wrong…it’s terrifying.”
Meryl is Yoda’s top pick for Leia’s number one un-botoxed buddy. She speaks a gazillion human languages, would have no trouble speaking Wookie and adds class to any movie she’s in.
Yoda says: “Great actress, are you, in galaxy far, far away. A Jedi you are.”