jacksons, twain and einstein

Life, the multiverse and everything

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Twain, Einstein and the Jacksons

The common phrase, ‘I can’t be in two places at the same time,’ might soon be redundant.

Physicists have found that atoms at the quantum level can be indeed be in two places at the same time, flitting between the space/time continuum without moving at all.

However, physicists have yet to discover the secret of atomic time travel.

Imagine, though, the potential for our working lives if we could replicate an atom’s behavior.

For example, my job as a high school teacher would be greatly enhanced if I could simultaneously drink gin and tonic at the pub while instructing students during my absence.

But even more exciting than time jumping atoms is the recent discovery of gravitational waves originating from the Big Bang. These waves, scientists explain, indicate the possibility of multiverses.

A multiverse is a replica of our universe. This means that I could be teaching and scoffing gin and tonic in numerous multiverses scattered throughout infinity.

Not only would there be multiples of me drinking gin and tonic but also multiples of you. This means all of us would be living our lives in different combinations from our current life in this universe.

All these me’s and you’s gets a bit confusing, but it might also explain how the same person appears to exist multiple times.

Let me explain.

Mark Twain and Albert Einstein had a lot in common. Twain was a literary giant and Einstein a scientific giant.

Twain was born in 1835 and died in 1910 and Einstein was born in Germany in 1875 and died in America in 1955. This rules out any potential reincarnation scenarios.

They both wore white suits, had messy desks, frazzled hair and fancied reclining chairs, moustaches and tobacco pipes.

They were witty, good public speakers and photographs of the two men show an uncanny similarity.

Perhaps the unfortunate Twain stepped out of his multiverse for a quick smoke and became stranded in our universe. He then spent the next forty years discussing the theory of relativity when all he really wanted was to do was go home and start work on a Huckleberry Finn sequel.

Alternatively, Einstein may have remained a clerk in this universe scribbling mathematical equations on the back of scrap paper and finding his waste paper basket continually stolen by a pipe smoking man in a white suit. The constant theft of his discarded calculations may have inspired Einstein to ponder the possibility of ever seeing his pipe, suit or equations again and therefore unwittingly discovering that time is an illusion.

Einstein’s, or possibly Twain’s, theories about multiverses, jumping atoms and multiple copies of ourselves could also explain the oft reported rumour that Michael Jackson and his sister Latoya are one and the same.

For many years, speculation as to whether the untalented, obnoxious and publicity- seeking Latoya Jackson was Michael in disguise dominated tabloids. They looked exactly the same (especially with Michael’s obsessive surgery altering his once masculine face) and there was no valid reason for Latoya’s existence other than irritating her much more talented siblings.

However, was Latoya merely a ruse so Michael could hide from his fans in plain sight?

Or was Latoya a multiverse-travelling alien from a planet where everybody looked like Michael Jackson?

If Latoya was indeed Michael then this could explain why she claimed the contents of his estate when he departed from this universe. After all, maybe Latoya was only taking what was his/hers anyway without the hassle of performing all those concerts at Wembley to pay off debts.

It’s an exciting theory and one that could explain coincidences which we’ve mistakenly thought to be random events.

It could also make us think twice before uttering a phrase such as, ‘I wish I could split myself in two’ as there may well be two halves of yourself cohabiting somewhere in the multiverse.

Note: You can read more about the convoluted history of celebrities in Sue Bell’s upcoming book: Amanda Seyfried stole my face.

Related Posts:
I was a World War 1 wire cutter: What do you think you were?
Miley, Sinead, the Pope and those Middleton sisters: Reincarnations living proof.
Amanda Byrnes: Is she Frances Farmer reincarnated?

Author: Sue Bell
Sue Bell is an entertainment writer and author of Backpacked: A mostly true story, Beat Street and When Dreamworks came to Stanley.

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