I’ve fallen out of love with my garden and I’m not sure why. Up until recently I enthusiastically ventured each day into the garden to cut, prune, dig and weed. I was excited to see the vegetables growing and the Sunflowers greeting me each day. I would spend time in the greenhouse and contrast the growth of indoor plants with those outdoors. I bought trees to plant and lots of shrubs. I would mulch and compost and return all the goodness to the soil. I would wake up looking forward to a long day spent in the garden, exhausted but rewarded by my efforts.
I don’t know when the love affair ended. Suddenly everything I used to enjoy about the garden became a burden. The garden was too big – 2 acres of constant maintenance. I work full-time but in the past, each night I returned from work I’d go straight out into the garden and spend several hours there. Now when I get home I go inside and shut the doors. I sit down at my laptop and I write. I haven’t written so much in 20 years and now I can’t stop.
I think the garden is letting me go. I’ve built up a bond with it over the past 4 years and it returned my devotion with its own healing properties. It gave me a sense of peace and achievement as well as feeding and sustaining me. It helped me during the dark periods until the light returned.
I believe it is time to move on. I’ve learnt a lot from this garden. What I’ve learnt will help me go on to plant trees, shrubs, flowers and vegetables in other gardens. I just won’t be planting them here anymore. I hope the garden finds someone else who will love it like I did. I’m not sure how long it will take before I sell up and leave or until someone new comes along. Until then I will be maintaining the garden but without the same love anymore.